Christians,why do I not feel the joy in my heart?

I have prayed about my salvation and forgiveness,but I don't feel joyous.I have severe anxiety attack were I can't control my thoughts.Would God hold me accountable for that?Or could it be that He is not ready to come into my heart?I know He comes were needed or when He wants not when we want.I do have anxiety medicine but it doesn't do the job like it used to.Could you please pray for me after you answer?